Late-Night Comics Lampoon Trump's New 'Gold Card' Immigration Plan

Late-night's leading comedians used their broadcast criticizing President Donald Trump's newly launched visa initiative, labeled the "Trump card," portraying it as a obvious pay-to-play scheme for the affluent.

Colbert's Witty Take

Opening his broadcast, Stephen Colbert delivered a sardonic Christmas tune about the commander-in-chief. "He is compiling a list, checking it twice, then handing that list to the agents at ICE," he intoned. "The President ... spoils everything he handles."

The focus was the controversial program which permits international citizens to buy U.S. legal status for an investment of a million dollars, or "premium" option for 5 million. A government page guarantees processing "in record time."

"One thought for you to rich foreigners: prior to you pay, what about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He explained that the card is also meant to "extract cash" from firms looking to hire skilled workers, requiring hefty fees. "That's a lot of fees, however if you enroll, you also get free accommodation at a hotel of your choosing – if it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he added.

"The best screening the government has before done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these applicants absolutely qualify to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert responded. "First question: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Critique

On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "American Dream Express Card."

"It's a card that will allow wealthy foreigners to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get legal visitor status, you get a route to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one major crime of your choosing."

"Perhaps it's time to change that message on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your tired masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel lampooned the lack of detail of the application, observing it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"Indeed, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "That's what Jesus constantly said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Economic Issues

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's plunging approval numbers amid economic worries. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term because they were upset about the economy," he said.

Recently, in a bid to address affordability, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a selection of food items, where he behaved peculiarly to some cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."

"Trump is so incredibly weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by targeting conservative news arguments of Trump's financial record. "Perhaps rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy like the one FIFA did," he joked.